How do you ask someone you like out on a date or just to hang out without making things uncomfortable?
This article was written by The Line Creative Hub member Binusha P.
It’s never an easy feat.
Whether it's approaching someone you’re interested in when you’re out or confessing your love to your longtime best friend, the cost of attempting to change your current relationship is often scary.
It could even result in some decisions you’re not proud of.
So, let’s change that.
What To Consider When Shooting Your Shot
Imagine there’s a person you’re into and want to work out if they’re interested, and actually ask them out.
Here are some things you could do:
- Ease into the conversation: Try to explain some of your feelings or thought processes and give your crush a chance to feel comfortable. Start by telling them what you like about them, try ‘I love how easy it is to talk to you’, or, ‘I really like the vibe we’ve got here’.
- Embrace the awkwardness: The moment doesn’t have to be the perfect rom-com style confession that we see on TV, instead let it be real and laugh off any jitters.
- Reassure yourself: Hype yourself up! It takes confidence to ask someone out, so shaking off the nerves with some self-affirmations will be more beneficial than feeling like you have to ‘man up’ and get it over with.
Read more about the pressure to ‘man up’ here.
What To Avoid When Asking Somebody Out
And what you shouldn’t do:
- Don’t blurt it all out straight away: As tempting as it is to just get it out there, this doesn’t give your crush a fair chance to process or react without feeling some pressure. How would you feel if a random person walked up and told you they’d been watching you and wanted to make a move?
- Don’t ask them in an uncomfortable setting: For example, asking your crush to go on a date while sitting at a family dinner or with a big group of friends may place pressure on them to respond in a way they don’t really mean.
- Don’t make assumptions about their interest: Stick to explaining your own feelings before making any assumptions, which will ensure that you don’t invalidate their feelings. They might be keen, or not, but that’s not up to you to decide or force.
How To Deal With Rejection
While your crush reciprocating your feelings is great, this may not always be the case.
It’s important that the person you are asking out feels comfortable and safe to respond how they want, and knows their answer is going to be respected.
If your crush doesn’t feel the same way as you, that can be especially tough to navigate.
A helpful way to respond to that might be by first letting yourself feel any pent up emotions, but then moving on.
Vent to some friends, go for a run to clear your head, play some games or even let yourself doom scroll for a bit, whatever else helps you accept it.
Find out more ways to handle rejection without crashing out through this link.
Why A Yes Or A No Is Still A Win
People may get rejected for different reasons, and working out how to deal with that can help you in every part of your life.
And remember, it’s a big deal to shoot your shot, regardless of how they respond.
It’s awesome to have the confidence to share your feelings!
It’s also a very vulnerable thing to do, and there’s real strength in vulnerability.
So, regardless of whether you get into a relationship, hook up, or cop a no, asking someone out is still a win for you!
