So, there's the thrill of an upcoming date. And then there's the terror of impending date doooom...
Run through these tips (slowly, over and over again while breathing) and just relax!
The DOs...
1. Get there on time
Pretty simple. Your date doesn’t want to grow old waiting for you to show up. Forget ‘fashionably late’ – arrive five minutes early, do a recon and get the good seats.
2. Be you
Even if you’re feeling first date nerves, don't be anyone other than… you. You’re the one your date wants to hang out with – not some attempt at an ‘improved’ version of you. So as long as 'you' is respectful and inquisitive, then yeah, be 'you'.
3. Give’n’take
Try to make sure both of you are doing similar amounts of talking. Follow up what you say with a question – and listen to answers – so you're not just talking about you.
4. Keep calm
They might be nervous too so keep it relaxed. Sometimes you need to start by pushing yourself to smile or laugh a little just until things loosen up (while making sure to stay true to yourself).
5. ‘Meet the parents’
Make an effort if and when you end up meeting their friends or family. Nobody wants to explain why they’re hanging out with that moody weirdo who just grunts and stares at their phone. Maybe you're a little nervous, or shy in front of new people, which is totally fine – we're just saying you can be quiet and still be polite.
6. Get pumped
Cranking up the jams can give you that last-minute confidence boost before you arrive. And maybe opt for classic rock rather than classical - something to get your heart rate up!
7. Lose the stereotypes
Sure, offer to pay, but also offer to the split the bill – some people see this as a sign of respect and maintaining independence, especially on a first date! Also ask yourself...'If I was out with a mate would I offer to pay for them?'
Whatever you do DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF YOUR GENDER! If you're there first, yep, hold the door, grab drinks, take coats etc. But do it because you can, not because society expects you to.
8. Pay some compliments too
As long as it’s genuine, don’t be afraid to throw a compliment or two their way – about something impressive they've said or done – not ‘Whoa… you lost weight!’
9. Put. Your. Phone. Away.
Put… your phone… away. Putyourphone – AWAY! Seriously. Pootitaway.
The DON’Ts...
1. Don’t obsess
Try and forget that weird nerve-induced thing you blurted out (e.g. ‘Bread rolls are seriously weird! I think I hate them. Why do they have to BE everywhere?!’). Just take a breath, and move on.
2. Sloooow down
No matter how into this person you are, don’t go Liking every image on their gram or changing your relationship status just yet! One date doesn’t mean growing old together.
3. Forget the cheese
Leave out the following cheesy lines and any that are similar:
- ‘I need a map because I’m lost in your eyes'
- ‘Did it hurt…? When you fell from heaven’
- 'I'm not drunk - I'm intoxicated by YOU!'
They all suck really bad.
4. EX-tremely bad idea
Don’t talk about your ex, whether it’s in a good way or bad. No one wants to hear about the fun times you had with them or how they broke your heart.
5. Don’t rush the physical stuff
Don’t feel any obligation to ‘get’ anywhere. It’s fine if neither of you can keep your hands off each other, but don’t spend the whole date thinking about 'how far' you're gonna get.
6. Braggadocious
Got some exciting ideas? Fine, but don’t go on about how you’re a genius entrepreneur and about to buy your first Lamborghini. Even if any of it is true, spend some time asking them about how great they are!
7. Don’t ‘call all the shots’
Showing initiative is fine, but remember – you’re two people on a date – neither of you should be making every decision about where to go or what to do.
8. Don’t interview your date
While it’s really important to ask questions, some questions kinda don’t make for a fun or relaxed date. Steer clear of questions like:
- ‘What are your greatest strengths/weaknesses?’
- ‘What’s your ten-year plan?’
- ‘When did you last update your resume?’
9. Don’t rely on any substance to ‘calm your nerves’
Nobody wants to be on a date with someone on a completely different ‘wave-length’, 'cause weirdly, it isn’t fun hanging out with someone who's off their face.
