You’ve probably heard it before: Be tough. Harden up. You’ll be right. Just sort yourself out and move on.
For a lot of guys, that stuff gets handed down like a how-to guide.
But let’s be real.
Trying to live up to those gender stereotypes can feel like being dropped into a game on hard mode without instructions.
How are you meant to know the rules?
Nobody ever told you how it actually works.
Acting Tough All The Time Can Be Exhausting
You’re not a robot.
And being expected to play the chill, nonchalant, nothing-bothers-me guy 24/7 gets tiring fast.
Maybe you’ve laughed off or ignored stuff that legit got to you.
Maybe you’ve kept quiet when you wanted to say something.
Maybe you’ve been told to ‘Toughen up’ when what you really needed was a mate to say, ‘Yeah, that sucks’ or even give you a good old-fashioned hug.
That version of masculinity doesn’t let you do any of that stuff that can make you feel better.
How About Just Being A Good Person?
Here’s the thing: you don’t have to be the loudest in the room, the strongest, or the most chill.
Strength can look like a whole bunch of things, for example:
- Asking how someone’s really going.
- Admitting when you’ve stuffed up.
- Letting your mate talk without cutting in with a joke.
- Speaking up when something doesn’t sit right.
- Being kind, caring, and doing the right thing.
Yeah, sure, it can feel a bit awkward sometimes, but it’s about being real and really listening.
And chances are, even though you feel awkward, everybody else thinks you’re doing well.
The cheat code you should know is that you can be into anything.
You can be into sport, gaming, music, plants, fashion, dancing, painting your nails, niche memes and whatever else you can think of.
It doesn’t come with a checklist, and at the end of the day the best thing to try and be is a good person.
Bottling Up How You Feel? Not The Go
Yeah, it’s easy to pretend something isn’t a big deal.
But shoving your feelings down is like hitting snooze on a fire alarm.
It doesn’t fix the problem, it just delays the fallout.
You don’t need to open up to everyone.
But talking to someone, anybody, a mate, sibling, parent, school counsellor, or anyone you feel comfortable and safe with can instantly make things feel way less messy.
And if someone ever tells you that saying ‘I’m not doing great’ makes you weak? They’ve missed the point.
You Get To Write Your Own Story
You don’t need to ditch everything you’ve grown up hearing.
But you can start picking out the stuff that works and leave the rest behind.
Not vibing with that classic blokey banter? Say less.
Tired of pretending you don’t care about anything? You’re allowed to care.
Want to just be yourself, even if it’s not what people expect? That’s cool.
There’s no prize for being the toughest guy in the group chat.
But there’s a lot to gain from just being yourself and letting other people do the same.
