What they DIDN’T tell you about sex...


We ask our Facebook community to send us questions. Then we ask that same community to answer those questions. ...Yeah, well, why make work for ourselves?!


So the question is…

“What do you wish your sex-ed classes had actually taught you?”

  • Missy I wish sex ed classes recognised that not all relationships are heterosexual, outline what is available for contraceptives, explain how you can contract infections, teach students what mental health is, how easy it is to get pregnant, how hard raising a child is, how abortions work and their after-effects, what all sorts of abuse are, explain consent properly and talk about self-defence.
  • Sarah I haven't heard any sex-ed class actually mention porn. And I think porn is a big thing corrupting a lot of young people's minds. In porn, sex is captured as something 'easy' and animalistic. It's unrealistic. Boys, you don't need a hairless big schlong to get it on. And girls, you don't need big tits, tanned, hairless or any of those attributes to have a good sex life. I wish in school that SOMEONE mentioned that 'doing it like they do in porn' is not the goal. If that's your only goal in sex, you will be surely disappointed. Also in real life, people don't 'last' that long! They take many different clips to get that 20 minute video. A heads up that 'realistically, sex lasts about 3 minutes' would've been nice!
  • Emma It would be great if there could be more emphasis on self pleasure, I know it would have made me feel much more comfortable knowing how a woman can feel without a mans genitalia having to be involved. Also more about the actual doing of sex rather than the usual STI talks and how to identify them - it's helpful but it shouldn't be the only thing discussed.
  • Channy Sorry if this offends anyone but I think they should teach everyone what to do if you were ever raped or sexually harassed in any way and also teach children not to be scared to talk up (as a lot of people get away with it these days). We only got taught that you can get pregnant and can get STIs if you don't wear protection, how to put a condom on a penis, we got taught about puberty (periods and erections and stuff). We should have also got taught about things like ovarian and testicular cancer. And maybe the fact that the (implant) rod and the (contraceptive) pill can actually stuff (females) bodies up.
  • James That the first time is awkward af lol
  • Bianca I wish they had delved a little deeper to be honest. I wish that they had mentioned that not every genital looks like it does in the text books, and that's nothing to be ashamed of! I also wish they had mentioned that it's not strange for a woman to not be able to have an orgasm from penetration alone.
  • Imogen Don't even get me started but everything to do with anything LGBTIQ, consent, that sex is actually good and normal and there shouldn't be any shame, that there's no shame about sti's and good ways to get treatment, forms of abuse and how to deal and cope, that sex is more than reproduction
  • Erin I wish they taught me more about sex in regard to sexuality and relationships. I feel like I had to learn to talk about it with my partners and it was a long time before I actually managed to do that.
  • Tobi Sex etiquette. positions. more about actually performing sexual acts instead of sexual body parts. how to say no when pressured into having sex by your partner. how to know when it's consensual and when it's not. Non-heterosexual sex. medication that can potentially effect the growth of a child during pregnancy. I've just listed HALF the things that I wasn't taught during sex ed.
  • Jack How to have a healthy relationship.

It sounds like a lot of people thought there was too much focus on biology and theory. Sure, that stuff is good to know about, but there’s a whole lot more than that, which people end up trying to 'learn on the job'.

Just from this small sample of responses, some of the topics people said they’d have liked to learn about in sex-ed included: non-hetero relationships, STIs and what to do about them, contraception/pregnancy/terminations and their ‘side-effects’, recognising and dealing with abuse, recognising and knowing how to ask for consent and dealing with sexual pressure, understanding more about porn, self-pleasure, the practicalities and ‘doing’ of sex and how orgasms and libido happen for different people.

It sounds like sex ed could be a whole lot better. If you can at least communicate openly with your sexual partner, it’ll make it easier to work things out together..

If you want advice about abuse or relationships call or visit 1800RESPECT.

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