Talking about sex

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Ok, not everyone can be the greatest lover on Earth, but being better isn’t rocket science either. There are a few simple rules to ‘sweet sexcess’...

1. Relax and be in the moment

Whether you’re in the sack or hoping to get there, it’s not a race, it’s not a competition, it’s not an exam. They might not know exactly what they like at first, and that’s ok. They might even only be able to tell you what doesn’t feel good. But don’t feel stupid if someone tells you something doesn’t feel amazing! It’s great that they trust you enough to say, and it’s really great intel on your path to work out what will work between the two of you – and maybe even becoming their dream lover!

Woman saying just...relax

2. Don’t try to be a porn star

The only way to figure out what your partner likes is by communicating and asking them.

Porn is NOT any kind of ‘Good Sex Guide' - it portrays a lotta harmful stereotypes, attitudes and behaviours. Remember: Violence isn't sexy, guys don't need to control and dominate, and girls aren't sex objects simply there to satisfy guys. And porn won’t help you figure out what your partner’s feeling or up for… the only way to figure that out is to communicate!

Woman saying No, try again.

3. Be in the moment and keep checking in

Sex is a balancing act (heh heh) – you need to feel the feels in your own head while also staying in tune with your partner. Enjoy yourself, but make sure those good sensations are mutual. Checking in is important to do before you start, but also equally important to keep doing on the reg.

It doesn’t matter if it's someone you’ve just met, frenz-with-benz or your boo f’lyfe -always, always, always check in.

Character (Pam) from the TV show The Office smiling and saying nice

4. Play it safe

Take the awkwardness and worry out of the safe sex question by just busting out the jonnies, the frangas, the dingers... the CONDOMS! Better to be safe than soz. 

Andy Samburg holding a packet of condoms in each hand.

5. Be respectful

It’s not that hard to be considerate, generous, and communicative. Making sure that you are all of those things means that EVERYONE involved will have a much better time all round.

Male character (Jamie Fraser) from the TV show Outlander taking off his hat and bowing.

Ok, maybe we were a little click-baity with the title of this article…? Maybe you were hoping for the inside word on a couple of ‘crazy Kama Sutra moves’ or sumthin’…? But seriously, getting relaxed, communicative, consenting and respectful is like a damn good way to keep those good times goooood!

If you want to chat to someone about issues in a relationship check out 1800RESPECT .

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