Everyone must have consent before any sexual escapade, no matter what kind. It’s simply non-negotiable. But how do you check for consent?
The article was updated by The Line Creative Hub members Talisa G.
Some people say it's tricky (it really isn't), but if you're feeling a little nervous, or maybe a bit awkward.
To help with the nervousness, we’ve got 5 lines for you to use to check or check in.
5 Respectful Ways to Check for Consent In A Relationship
Number 1: Can I Do This?
Asking things like ‘Can I kiss you?’ or ‘Can I touch you here?’ shows that you care about their comfort and consent, and allows you to gauge their interest.
If they say ‘No’, or something feels off (body language, tone, etc), stop everything right there.
Remember, if intimacy isn’t equally a ‘Hell yes’ from both people, then it’s a ‘Hell no’.
Number 2: Do you want to Do/Try This?
Directly ask things like ’Do you want to go down on me?’, ‘Do you want me inside of you?’ And that kind of thing.
The more direct the question, the better.
This kind of question gives your partner the knowledge to tell exactly what you want (hot!) whilst also informing them of exactly what they’re potentially consenting to (fabulous!).
It’s also really important to remember that while you may have had sex together one time (last weekend, earlier this morning, a year ago), or they might be keen on one sexual act but not another, so you always need to check back in and check for consent again, and this is a good line to do that!
Number 3: Does this feel good?
If things are steaming up, or if sex has just begun, a great way to check in with your sexual partner is to get a green light in that moment.
As we all know, you’re allowed to change your mind at any time.
So, this question, whilst hot, also gives your sexual partner the opportunity to say:
A) ‘Yes, this is fab!’
B) ‘Actually, no, I don’t really want to do this anymore.’
You can ask this question at any point in the hookup, from making out to hand stuff, to more intense things.
It’s a great one to keep in mind.
Number 4: Do you want me to keep going…?
Pretty self-explanatory and a great way to check in if they’re continuing to consent.
Do you want this? Do you want something else? Do you want to stop? Easy!
Number 5: Tell me what you want?
This might be hard for them to answer because not everybody knows what, if anything, makes them feel good.
But by asking this, you’re not only checking for consent, but trying to ensure the sex is as good as it can be for everybody.
Follow it up with a, ‘Is this what you wanted?’, ‘Is this feeling as good as you hoped?’
Why Checking For Consent Is Crucial
Asking and communicating with your sexual partners will go a long way in making sure everyone's feeling consensual, happy and sexy.
Say it with me now, ’Checking in regularly is hot!’
Remember, you can't assume you know what anyone wants at any time.
The only way you can know if someone wants something is to ask.
And to pay attention to how they respond, what they say, and what they do afterwards.
To be sure you're on the right side of the line, take our pressure test.
And to find out about all the things that you need to know to check consent, read this article.
