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How To Deal With Feeling Pressure To Have Sex?

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What can you do when someone is trying to convince you to have sex?

This article was written by The Line Creative Hub member Binusha P.

It’s a Friday night, and I decided to shoot my shot with a guy who kept making eye contact with me.

He’d been super nice and flirty, so I knew we were definitely vibing.

One thing led to another, and we started making out.

Out of nowhere, he told me he wanted to have sex.

I told him I wasn’t ready, but he kept pushing that it would only be quick, that it would feel really good.

But I didn’t feel good. I felt pressured.

If you find yourself feeling pressured into having sex when you don’t want to, here’s what you can do.

Take A Pause And Check In With Yourself

It can be hard to recognise what pressure to have sex sounds like, especially if it’s with someone you’re into.

Take our quiz on recognising sexual pressure here.

It’s good to take a moment and think about what your partner is asking you to do.

Make sure that this decision is only yours, and not influenced by anything else.

After taking some time for myself, I realised that I just wasn’t in the mood to have sex.

If your answer isn’t an enthusiastic ‘yes’, yet they’re still pushing for it, that’s pressure.

Your interest in having sex isn’t up for debate, if you don’t want it that should be respected.

Let Them Know You’re Feeling Pressure

They shouldn’t be pressuring you, that’s the reality.

But if that’s the position they’ve put you in, you should feel empowered to tell them that’s how you’re feeling.

An example of checking for consent that doesn’t involve pressure might sound like this.

Them: ‘Are you keen to take this to the next level and have sex? It’s totally okay if you don't want to, I just know I’m ready for that if you are.’

If it doesn’t feel like they’re taking how you feel into consideration, that’s an indicator you’re feeling pressure.

The Choice Is Yours

You never have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing.

If you’re feeling pressure, you can walk away, no explanation needed.

If you’re looking for a reason, let them know you’re seeing a friend, getting a drink, or something like that.

In my experience, after telling the guy I wasn’t interested in having sex after being pressured I decided to return to the party.

Learn more about what to do if you've been pressured here.

I felt relieved, I got to dance and yap with friends to feel better about the situation.

And just remember, it’s never okay to be pushed into having sex when you don’t want to.

If you’ve felt pressured to have sex, or just felt uncomfortable about an experience you had, head to 1800RESPECT.

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