I was once in a situationship and it really sucked.
This article was written by The Line Creative Hub member Talisa G.
We’d dated for two months, slept together, and we’d even been exclusive.
Yet, when I’d asked them if we were headed for a relationship, they’d told me they didn’t see that for us.
I’d been devastated, snot-nosed crying to the ‘Giver’ by Sarah Kinsely.
But, afterwards I’d actually realised that it had brought me some relief, I wasn’t really ready for a relationship either, and we were much better suited as friends.
I know that won’t be everyone's experience, but by asking how the person you’re in (or not in) a situationship with is feeling towards you, you can then make an educated decision on how you move forward.
Stuck in a similar situation(ship) and not sure what to do next? Here’s some suggestions.
How Do You Ask If You’re In A Situationship?
Maybe we don’t recommend going out and directly asking if you’re in a situationship (that could get awks quickly), but we certainly do recommend communicating with whoever you're seeing, to make sure you’re on the same page.
You could do this by asking if your relationship is exclusive.
This could look like asking:
- ‘I’m liking what we’ve got going on, what would you call it?’
- ‘Would you like to be exclusive?’
- ‘Are you seeing other people?’
- ‘I’d like us to be exclusive, what do you think?’
- ‘I know we haven’t talked about it yet, but are we exclusive?’
Depending on their answer, you could follow up by asking about the current or future definition of your entanglement.
Questions to do this might be:
- ‘Would you like to be my girlfriend/boyfriend/partner?’
- ‘Do you see us being in a relationship someday?’
- ‘I’d like us to be girlfriend/boyfriend/partners one day, is that what you’re thinking as well?’
The important step here is communication, followed by self-reflection.
What To Do If You’re In A Situationship
Ask yourself:
- Were their answers what you wanted them to be?
- Are you in an exclusive relationship, soon to be on track for a whirlwind, summer wedding?
- Or, are you in a situationship?
- How does that make you feel?
- Are you actually okay with that?
- Are you not okay with that?
I know, I know, so many questions!
Now weigh up what they want, against what you want for the future, and how that feels.
You deserve someone who wants the same type of relationship as you do, and they deserve that as well.
No one’s wrong for what they want, as much as it can suck.
But, the good news is by asking your person what they want out of this, no matter what they answer, you get to shift out of the ambiguity of a situationship, into something better suited for both of you.
Whether that's a relationship, friendship or parting ways.
