My friend came over to watch MAFS, and amid all the tea, we started wondering how these shows impact our understanding of relationships. Here’s why we’re worried.
This article was written by The Line Creative Hub member Binusha P.
After another episode of painfully obvious marriage pairings that don’t work, I asked my friend a question that’s been on my mind.
‘I swear this is not what relationships are like in reality. Does the way these shows highlight really toxic relationships change the way we think about relationships in our actual lives?’
My friends and I took a second to think it over, and tbh it made us kinda worried.
But boy, did we have a few conversations about it.
What Love Island And Married At First Sight Tell Us About Relationships
Binusha: You watched season 7 of Love Island Australia right?
Friend: The season that glamourised going back to your ex when you both cheated on each other?
Binusha: Yeah that one.
Friend: They were actually kinda cute though…
Binusha: But is that really how you see the relationship, or was it the show that has positioned you to believe that’s true love?
Friend: You might be right about that. It’s also kinda rare to find love in such a short time isn’t it?
Binusha: You could say that, but at the same time, I do think love at first sight is a real thing.
Friend: True, it’s definitely possible to find love through a show like this, dating app, or even organically as long as you’re maintaining boundaries and communicating, and all that important stuff every relationship has.
Read more about the importance of setting boundaries through this link.
Binusha: I mean that’s the big two, although I will say I’ve never personally fallen in love at first sight.
Friend: I guess we saw it happen in Disney movies a lot growing up…
What Old Disney Movies Like Beauty and the Beast Tell Us About Relationships
Friend: You know, Disney movies were probably my first introduction to romantic relationships.
Binusha: Mine too! Did you have a favourite?
Friend: Probably Beauty and the Beast. I mean, come on, Emma Watson killed it in the live action!
Binusha: I can agree on that, but as for the relationship itself I don’t think it was very healthy.
Friend: You mean because the Beast kinda forced Belle to live in the castle with him? Quite toxic now that I think about it.
Binusha: Super toxic, especially when he continued to keep her trapped when they developed a romantic connection.
Friend: I wish things like that weren’t so glamourised.
Binusha: I know right, I feel like we had to root for them because Belle ‘changed’ him as a person, but if this was real life I don’t think she would have stayed with him after everything.
Friend: That reminds me of the couple content I’ve been seeing on TikTok these days.
What TikTok, Instagram, YouTube And Social Media Tell Us About Relationships
Binusha: Right? Like those relationship reels that say ‘I can fix him’?
Friend: I’ve seen them too. What’s with this idea that partners have to fix each other?
Binusha: I definitely think it comes from movies and stuff, you know, when the bad boy falls for the nice girl who helps him become ‘good’.
Friend: I personally think that change should come from within, though. Sure, you can work on yourself when you’re dating someone, but you shouldn’t go into a relationship with the mindset of ‘fixing’ someone who might be happy with the way they are.
Binusha: Definitely, there’s also the ‘If he wanted to, he would’ saying that’s been going around.
Friend: I still don’t even know what that means.
Binusha: Well it’s this belief that if someone truly wants to date you, they will do things like buying you flowers, which shows you that they prioritise you and want to put in the effort.
Friend: So if someone doesn’t want to put in the effort for you, it means they don’t want you?
Binusha: Basically. What are your thoughts on that?
Friend: To be honest, I think rather than guessing how your partner feels you should just ask them.
Binusha: Sometimes it’s not that easy…
Friend: But isn’t it better than playing a guessing game with how he feels?
Binusha: You might be onto something.
Want some tips on respectful and healthy communication? Check out this article.
Friend: If half the characters I saw on TV just talked to their partner or crush, like simply asking them if they wanted to hang out one-on-one, it’d save half the invisible fear that’s been created online.
Binusha: That invisible fear is so true. Why has social media created a standard on how much my crush needs to do for me to know he likes me?
Friend: So real, and since humans aren't mind readers, sometimes all you need is to clearly communicate what we want and have that valued and respected.
Binusha: That right there is what I consider true love.
