There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship, there will be challenges. Here are ways to tell it might be ready for the trash.
There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship, there are always going to be challenges.
That’s just the reality.
Some relationship quirks can be fixed, and they might even become endearing.
But some quirks shouldn’t be lived with because they’re major red flags.
They’re the things that, if you notice them in your relationship, indicate it’s probably time to break up.
Here are 8 signs you might be noticing or even doing that indicate it might be time to call it quits on your relationship.
1) You no longer feel attracted to them
Affection has faded, there’s no more kissing, cuddling, or intimacy.
Those things aren’t absolutely necessary in every relationship, but if there’s a big change, it’s something to be mindful of.
2) You make fun of or insult each other
That casual banter you once had isn’t that anymore, and it’s really just mean.
It crosses a line and keeps going even when somebody asks for it to stop.
3) You’ve started to dislike more qualities of theirs than you like
The voice you once found charming is now grating and nasally.
The cute quirk of chewing loudly has become insufferable.
Relationships are about respect, care and love, disliking their qualities isn’t a great sign.
4) Control of the way the other person looks, thinks, acts or speaks
Comments like ‘Don’t get that haircut,’ ‘Don’t wear those jeans,’ are the standard.
And it’s not just helpful fashion advice, it’s genuine control, or an attempt to control, the other person’s choices.
5) Control of who the other can see and what they can do outside the relationship
Comments like:
- ‘You can’t see that person this weekend, he doesn’t like me!’
- ‘Stop playing video games, it’s gross.’
- ‘Your friends are all weird, I don’t know why you spend so much time with them.’
Everybody should be free to do what interests them and see their friends, family, and new people.
6) Disrespect or pressure to do uncomfortable things
Questions and comments like ‘Everyone else is having sex, why can’t we?’, ‘Come on. We did it last time,’ ‘I know you don’t drink, but it's so lame,’ and those kinds of things are common.
In a healthy relationship, those kinds of questions are worked through with strong communication, not pressure or disrespect.
7) You lie to each other
Beyond the occasional ‘Yes, of course, I totally remembered to book that dinner date’.
Strong relationships are built on honesty, so there’s no need to lie.
8) Somebody, or both of you, check private messages without (enthusiastic) permission
Relationships should have openness, but also privacy if somebody wants it.
Checking messages is a breach of trust and is never okay.
What To Do If You Think It’s Time To End Your Relationships
If you’re feeling like these examples sound like something you do, or if you’re reading this hoping something will stand out to you as a reason to dump them, remember it’s okay to break up.
You never need a reason to end things, and it’s okay if it’s just not working out anymore.
Also, our list doesn’t cover every dodgy thing, there are plenty of other relationship red flags.
If something is happening in your relationship that’s making somebody uncomfortable, upset, angry, scared or hurt, it’s always okay to leave.
If you’re worried about any behaviours or things happening in your relationship, and want some advice, contact 1800RESPECT.
