My partner wants my IG password - should I give it to them?


We ask our community to send us questions. Then we ask that same community to answer those questions... Yeah, well, why make work for ourselves?!


‘Is it healthy to have your partner's social media passwords, and them have yours?

Is your partner asking for access to your social media accounts? The question might make you stop and think... why though?

Here's what our community has to say:

  • Luke If you need to look through someone's phone/messages/social media, you simply do not trust them. And, should there be a bad break up, your partner having access to your social media could be absolutely catastrophic.
  • Josh It depends on the person, some people prefer to keep some things private and a healthy relationship should allow you to have separate identities. Right?
  • Dannie No, I think everyone has a right to privacy. If you're like me, I'll be showing my partner half the stuff on my Facebook anyway, but I don't want them logging in.
  • Melanie Trust isn't based on having your partner’s passwords – trust goes beyond passwords and accounts, you're still an independent person entitled to your privacy and own conversations.
  • James Actually, me and my partner of three years have each other’s Facebook passwords. We tell each other when and what we plan to do with them each time we use them and I can say that there's been no issues. We can talk openly about our pasts and not have secrets in regards to previous relationships and the like.
  • Oliver Yes, but only if both parties agree and aren't pressured into it for any reasons.
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Sooo, not a lot of people in favour of it – kinda feels like the number, and potential seriousness of the risks outweigh any benefits (…whatever they are). If you desperately want to share your passwords with someone start by asking ‘Why?’ Is this about one partner not trusting the other?

Maybe it’s time to address the broader issues of trust in the relationship by talking openly and honestly about how everyone’s feeling. Rather than discussing whether it’s ok to share passwords, it could be more productive to work through the feelings that are leading to someone wanting passwords in the first place. Pressuring someone to share their passwords, or logging into someone’s personal accounts without full and free consent, is a red flag that may be emotional abuse or coercive control in a relationship. If you decide you do want to go ahead and share your passwords, really consider what could go wrong in the absolute worst-case scenario.

If your partner’s asking for your passwords and you’re not sure how you feel about it, you may also want to talk to 1800RESPECT about their use of, or need to have control in the relationship.

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