We ask our Facebook and Insta community to send us questions. Then we ask that same community to answer those questions... Yeah, well, why make work for ourselves?!
‘I’m about to get into a long-distance relationship. Any advice on how to make it work and be bearable?’
Whether it’s lockdowns or other circumstances that mean you’re trying to keep a ‘remote relationship’ working smoothly, there are challenges involved. We asked for tips and tricks and what to be ready for when your boo is just toooo far away…
- Tyler Communication is the most important thing. Be open and honest as distance can be a relationship killer. Take each day as it comes and be extra understanding. Jealousy can feel more intense during a long distance relationship too. Make sure to have a few coping mechanisms. Worst thing for me was feeling helpless when things would get bad for my then other half.
- William I was in one for 8 months up until Feb when she came back, trust was important, knowing that time zones don’t always match up sucks but it’s important to establish what you both want and when you’ll communicate, in person or via letters/the internet etc. Sending gifts like Uber Eats Desserts was always cool. Be ready to miss them, but know that it’ll be worth it!
- Nikita Having achievable goals helps. For example, knowing that you will see them in four months instead of being burdened with not knowing when you’ll see them next.
- Allyson Hm. Maybe try to bring up problems as they arise, don't bottle it up. And make sure to take turns starting conversations.
- Sean Remember if you ever hate the feeling of missing them bc you don't get to the see that person, remind yourself that the feeling of being with them surpasses any other, that's how I always get through long distance.
- Will I was in a long-distance relationship myself. It didn’t end well. However, it was a different experience for me because even before the relationship became long-distance she was quite controlling and would lose it if she didn’t have her own way. My best advice, based on my experience, is to make sure you both keep in contact on a regular basis and compromise on days and times you could meet up when possible, compromising is the key!! And also remember that if the other partner forgets to message you or responds late, do not retaliate by saying “oh why didn’t you message me when you were supposed to” or “oh did you go on Facebook and not think to say hi to me?” Because it comes across as aggressive and it doesn’t make things better, it can make it worse.
- Emma The hardest thing I found (being a year 11 student at the time) was keeping on top of schoolwork while balancing friends and spending time with him. we had long distant dates where we simply just watched the same movie on tv and we skyped a little but mostly phone calls, text and Facebook. It’s really tough though.
- Anthony A long deep talk at the end of the day can be better than lots of little talks throughout the day.
Some good points there, most talking about the importance of communication. All long-distance relationships look different. Some couples might speak five times a day, some might speak for an hour three times a week, some might text a lot and visit each other once a month– it’s all about finding what works for you.
You’ve also got to remember that – as painful as it might be – some relationships just can’t make the distance and you need to consider whether it’s workable in the long-term. If you’re not sure whether trying to maintain a long-distance relationship is good and healthy for you (and/or them!) try talking to 1800RESPECT.