Porn, like any popular media, can be very effective in shaping our tastes and telling us what’s ‘normal’ or good.
But is it ‘bad for you’? A lot of research has been done showing the ways porn affects our brain. There is some research suggesting it can be addictive for some people. But a big concern is how it forms or changes the way we think of men and women, and how they should treat each other.
A lot of mainstream porn shows violent behaviours, mostly towards women, like gagging and verbal abuse and generally showing men being dominant and women being submissive. Research has shown that the more people watch porn the more likely they are to have sexist attitudes, believe that women are ‘sex objects’ and think that women are to blame when they’re raped or that it happens because men can’t control their sexual urges.
Now – take a breath – nobody’s suddenly going to become a monster after seeing porn for the first time. A lot of us understand that pornography is generally not realistic and is not a good way to learn about sex, relationships or how people should relate to each other.
Thing is, if we’re not thinking critically while watching porn (and sometimes even when we are!), without even wanting it to, it can start to become a kind of ‘sex education’. And it’s the kind of sex education that can be, well, bad for you. And bad for the people around you.
Sitting around watching a whole lot of anything is usually going to affect your thinking. And if it’s stuff that shows men degrading and abusing women during sex (and made to look like they enjoy it!) it kind of goes without saying that it’ll start to affect the way you think about intimacy and what people actually enjoy.
So, if and when you are watching porn, try asking yourself some questions, like:
- What’s it saying about whose pleasure is most important during sex?
- What’s it saying about what’s meant to be pleasurable, like particular sex acts or being degraded or physically forced to do certain things?
- What’s it saying about how people should look and what their bodies should be like?
- What’s it saying about consent and communication in sex?
- Does it suggest that some people (like men?) decide what happens during sex while others (like women?) are told what to do?
- Does it make people feel like they should try to do what they see in porn?
- Is sexual health taken into consideration at all in porn?
There are plenty of questions that need to be asked about porn. Asking critical questions like these can be a reality check - helping you understand that porn is a performance and often not realistic when it comes to pleasure, relationships, communication or even the way we look.
Even questioning whether porn is bad for you is a good start (so top marks for getting here!). If you feel like you might be watching too much porn or watching stuff that’s not healthy, or if it is getting in the way of your sleep, study, work or relating to real people, it might be time to put some limits on what/how much you’re watching. If that’s hard to do, try visiting eheadspace – they provide free online and telephone support and counselling to young people.
For more information and resources on the impacts of porn, visit In the Knowand it'stimewetalked.
To get help or talk to someone about sexual assault, family or domestic violence, call 1800 RESPECT.
