Jealousy is a pretty typical feeling. But is it ever ok in a relationship? That's what somebody asked us.
Their question was: Is jealousy ever healthy in a relationship?
We wanted to get a range of answers, so we asked our online followers for their advice.
What Others Think About Relationship Jealousy
- Nikki: I don’t think it’s healthy, but I do think it’s normal and natural. What’s healthy is talking and working through it.
- Kitty: I think jealousy is a learned emotion and usually comes from a fear of loss. I don't believe that jealousy is healthy at all. One can envy someone, sure, but jealousy is often misrepresented as a sign of love. It isn't. It's controlling behaviour and mistrust. None of which builds a healthy relationship.
- Luke: Jealousy and envy can be in a lot of situations. Using them as justification for doing crappy things is what is unhealthy.
- David: No. One shouldn't be ashamed of their own emotions, that doesn't necessarily mean the presence of a particular emotion in a relationship is healthy.
- Jordan: No, jealousy is a negative emotion. Acknowledge it, talk about it, then move on. This doesn't mean you can't learn things from jealousy.
- Patrick: Emotions can't be helped, they're part of why we're human. Acting on jealousy is what causes problems.
There were plenty of different responses, but a common theme was that if jealousy bubbled up, that can be okay.
But it’s what you do with it that counts.
How to Respond to Jealousy in a Healthy Relationship
- Don't justify being a controlling by calling it jealousy or love.
- Do recognise what your feels are doing and talk to your partner in a way that aims to move beyond jealousy.
- Do remember there are infinite healthy ways to show how much someone means that don't involve crossing the line into jealousy or fear of losing them.
- Do listen to your intuition and talk to your partner if you are experiencing doubts.
In a healthy relationship, everybody should be able to openly communicate their concerns.
If you find that you're trying to make your partner jealous, it could also be a sign that you're feeling insecure – talking to someone about this might help.
