Your emotions really can make you feel like it's the end of the world. But it isn't.
Whenever you feel big emotions, the first step you should always take is to pause so you can notice what you’re feeling. But what comes next?
After pausing, it’s time to regulate.
Why Should You Regulate Your Emotions?
Regulating your emotions gives you the chance to choose a response you'll feel good about later.
When you’re feeling everything, and there’s a bit going on, you’re more likely to say or do things you don’t mean.
In that state, it's easy to misread the other person, make the situation worse, and lose the ability to think or respond effectively.
So you need to find a way to come back to calm.
That doesn’t mean to bottle up whatever you’re feeling, but it means getting on top of it so you can find a way to actually be heard.
Everyone has a different way to bring themselves back to calm, and sometimes it takes different approaches for different situations, so find what works for you.
How Can You Regulate Your Emotions?
A few ways to regulate your emotions are by moving your body, breathing, grounding yourself, getting it all out, distracting yourself, even just sitting with it, whatever works for you.
- Moving your body could include walking around the block, going for a jog or a run, shaking it out, dancing around the room, going for a skate, or anything like that.
- A classic breathing technique is to try breathing in for 4 seconds, holding for 4 seconds, and then breathing out for 4 seconds. It sounds simple, but it works.
- A way to ground yourself is to name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
- Getting it out can be different for everybody, but it might include writing it down, recording a voice memo, tapping it out in your notes, drawing, or listening to or playing some music.
- You all know how to distract yourselves (sorry homework), but some good options are to watch something, call a friend, play a video game, or just do whatever to give your brain a break.
How Can You Tell If Your Emotional Regulation Worked?
You'll be able to tell if your regulation technique works because your breathing will slow, everything is a bit more chill, and you feel curious rather than reactive.
But don’t worry if you find it hard at first, it takes practise.
You can even try saying something like, ‘My breathing has slowed, and I’m thinking more clearly. I think I’m ready.’
Think about what calm means to you, because the better you know what that is, the easier it becomes to work out when you’re ready for the next step.
And that next step is to communicate.
Get tips on how to communicate through this link.
