Dating DOs and DON’Ts

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So, there's the thrill of an upcoming date. And then there's the terror of impending date doooom...

Run through these tips (slowly, over and over again while breathing) and just relax!

The DOs...

1. Get there on time

Pretty simple. Your date doesn’t want to grow old waiting for you to show up. Forget ‘fashionably late’ – arrive five minutes early, do a recon and get the good seats.

Picture of fashionable old lady smoking a cigar.

2. Be you

Even if you’re feeling first date nerves, don't be anyone other than… you. You’re the one your date wants to hang out with – not some attempt at an ‘improved’ version of you. So as long as 'you' is respectful and inquisitive, then yeah, be 'you'.

3. Give’n’take

Try to make sure both of you are doing similar amounts of talking. Follow up what you say with a question – and listen to answers – so you're not just talking about you.

4. Keep calm

They might be nervous too so keep it relaxed. Sometimes you need to start by pushing yourself to smile or laugh a little just until things loosen up (while making sure to stay true to yourself).

GIF of Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory hyper-ventilating into a paper bag

5. ‘Meet the parents’

Make an effort if and when you end up meeting their friends or family. Nobody wants to explain why they’re hanging out with that moody weirdo who just grunts and stares at their phone. Maybe you're a little nervous, or shy in front of new people, which is totally fine – we're just saying you can be quiet and still be polite.

6. Get pumped

Cranking up the jams can give you that last-minute confidence boost before you arrive. And maybe opt for classic rock rather than classical - something to get your heart rate up!

7. Lose the stereotypes

Sure, offer to pay, but also offer to the split the bill some people see this as a sign of respect and maintaining independence, especially on a first date! Also ask yourself...'If I was out with a mate would I offer to pay for them?'

Whatever you do DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF YOUR GENDER! If you're there first, yep, hold the door, grab drinks, take coats etc. But do it because you can, not because society expects you to.

8. Pay some compliments too

As long as it’s genuine, don’t be afraid to throw a compliment or two their way – about something impressive they've said or done – not ‘Whoa… you lost weight!’

9. Put. Your. Phone. Away. 

Put… your phone… away. Putyourphone – AWAY! Seriously. Pootitaway.

The DON’Ts...

1. Don’t obsess 

Try and forget that weird nerve-induced thing you blurted out (e.g. ‘Bread rolls are seriously weird! I think I hate them. Why do they have to BE everywhere?!’). Just take a breath, and move on.

2. Sloooow down 

No matter how into this person you are, don’t go Liking every image on their gram or changing your relationship status just yet! One date doesn’t mean growing old together.

3. Forget the cheese

Leave out the following cheesy lines and any that are similar:

  • ‘I need a map because I’m lost in your eyes'
  • ‘Did it hurt…? When you fell from heaven’
  • 'I'm not drunk - I'm intoxicated by YOU!'

They all suck really bad.

GIF of Kit Harrington saying I'm looking for a Stark in the streets but a wilding in the sheets.

4. EX-tremely bad idea

Don’t talk about your ex, whether it’s in a good way or bad. No one wants to hear about the fun times you had with them or how they broke your heart.

5. Don’t rush the physical stuff

Don’t feel any obligation to ‘get’ anywhere. It’s fine if neither of you can keep your hands off each other, but don’t spend the whole date thinking about 'how far' you're gonna get.

6. Braggadocious

Got some exciting ideas? Fine, but don’t go on about how you’re a genius entrepreneur and about to buy your first Lamborghini. Even if any of it is true, spend some time asking them about how great they are!

7. Don’t ‘call all the shots’

Showing initiative is fine, but remember – you’re two people on a date – neither of you should be making every decision about where to go or what to do.

8. Don’t interview your date

While it’s really important to ask questions, some questions kinda don’t make for a fun or relaxed date. Steer clear of questions like:

  • ‘What are your greatest strengths/weaknesses?’
  • ‘What’s your ten-year plan?’
  • ‘When did you last update your resume?’

9. Don’t rely on any substance to ‘calm your nerves’

Nobody wants to be on a date with someone on a completely different ‘wave-length’, 'cause weirdly, it isn’t fun hanging out with someone who's off their face.

Sooo, there you have it – a bunch of tips on how to have a perfectly decent date (don't aim for 'perfect'... it'll end in disaster). Basically, relax, be you and - seriously - enjoy yourself!

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