Where will we go? What am I gonna wear? ...How late should I be?!”
So, there's the thrill of an upcoming date. And then there's the terror of impending date doooom... Run through these tips (slowly, over and over again while breathing) and CTFO.
1. Yeah… get there on time. Pretty simple. Your date doesn’t want to grow old waiting for you to show up. Forget ‘fashionably late’ – arrive five-minutes early, do a recon and get the good seats.
2. Be you. Even if you’re feeling first-date nerves, don't be anyone other than… you. You’re the one your date wants to hang out with – not some attempt at an ‘improved’ version of you.
3. Give’n’take: Try to make sure both of you are doing about as much talking as each other. Follow up what you say with a question – and listen to answers – so you're not just talking about you.
4. Keep calm and… They might be nervous (too?) so keep it relaxed. Sometimes you need to start by pushing yourself to smile or laugh a little just ‘til things loosen up.
5. Stressing over super-smart vs super-casual? Go smart-casual and hold off on ‘big fashion statements’ if you’re not feeling 100% about them. PS: Natural fabrics beat synthetic in sweaty situations.
6. Meet the parents – Make an effort around friends and family. Nobody wants to explain why they’re hanging out with that moody weirdo who just grunts and stares at his phone.
7. Getting ready, or on your way to the date, cranking up the jams will give that last minute confidence-boost. And think classic-rock rather than classical - something to get yo’ date on.
8. Sure, offer to pay – BUT NOT BECAUSE OF YOUR GENDER! If you’re there first, yep, hold the door, grab drinks, take coats, etc. But do it because you can, not because you’re the man.
9. As long as it’s genuine, don’t be afraid to throw a compliment or two their way – preferably something they've said or done, rather than “Whoa …you lost weight!”
10. Put. Your. Phone. Away. Put… your phone… away. Putyourphone – AWAY! Seriously. Putitaway.
1. Don’t obsess over that weird nerve-induced thing you blurted out (e.g. “Bread rolls are so dumb! I hate them. Why do they have to BE everywhere?!”) Just take a breath, and move on.
2. Sloooow down there, buddy – no matter how into this person you are, don’t go changing your Facebook relationship status just yet! One date doesn’t mean growing old together.
3. Forget the cheese. Leave out those lines about 'needing a map because you’re lost in their eyes', or ...'I'm not drunk - I'm intoxicated by YOU!', etc, because, well, they all suck really bad.
4. EX-tremely bad idea… Don’t talk about your ex, whether it’s in a good way or bad. No one wants to hear about the fun times you had with them or how they broke your heart.
5. Don’t feel any obligation to ‘get’ anywhere. It’s fine if you can’t keep your hands off each other, but don’t spend the whole date thinking about what base you’ll be getting to.
6. Braggadocious. Got some exciting ideas? Fine, but don’t go on about how you’re a genius entrepreneur and about to buy your first Lamborghini. Even if any of it’s true you’ll sound like a try-hard-preneur.
7. Don’t ‘call all the shots’. Showing initiative is fine, but remember – you’re two people on a date – neither of you should be making every decision about where to go or what to do.
8. Don’t interview your date. Questions like, “What are your greatest strengths/weaknesses?” “What’s your ten-year plan?” and “Show me your C.V.!” don’t make for a fun or relaxed date.
9. Don’t rely on any substance to ‘calm your nerves’. Nobody wants to be on a date with someone on a completely different ‘wave-length’, 'cause weirdly, it isn’t fun hanging out with a drawling idiot.
10. Put the friggin phone away. Seriously, you pull that thing out again – even if they’ve got theirs’ out – we will hunt you down and...
Sooo, there you have it – 20 tips on how to have a perfect decent date (don't aim for 'perfect' ...it'll end in disaster). Basically, relax, be you and - seriously - enjoy yourself. Bonne soirée!