What Does It Really Mean To Be A Man? We Asked Some Men

This article was written by The Line Creative Hub member Talisa G.

Conversations about masculinityare frequently overshadowed by ‘red-pill’ narratives, insecurity, misinformation, and sometimes hostility.

But this isn’t the full picture.

I know countless kind, confident, grounded men who respect themselves and those around them.

Yet we rarely hear their stories.

Instead, we’re flooded with content portraying masculinity in a way that can leave many young men feeling self-conscious, disconnected from themselves, or even ashamed.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I wanted to show what many men are actually thinking and feeling about masculinity in today’s world.

So, I spoke with two men, J and F, who are in their 20s, and are each successful in their own way.

They came together to share their honest experiences, and hope their reflections provide you with a fresh, genuine perspective on what they think it truly means to ‘be a man’.

Question 1: What does it mean to be a man?

J: I think being a man encompasses a range of meanings from responsibility, emotional vulnerability, etc.

I like to know that these people can rely on me if they need to in all aspects of their lives, including emotionally.

F: A man can be whoever he wants to be.

The best men are those true to themselves and loyal to their friends of all genders.

To me, it’s important that a man is candid and unashamed. Gentleness is an important part of being a man.

Question: What do you love about being a man?

J: I think there is a certain vulnerability in male friendships that isn’t seen elsewhere, where guys are able to talk and confide in each other about feelings or other things specific to men in the world.

My friend and I have had some fantastic chats about life during our gym sessions, where we have given each other so much clarity on stuff such as career and relationships.

Question: How do you measure being a good friend/partner?

J: I believe people who strive to put their best foot forward. I say strive because sometimes we don’t always do it and that’s okay, will still make great friends/partnerships.

And I think it is measured by how it makes you feel when you are around them.

Do they make you feel good?

Do they make you feel seen?

A little bit of thoughtfulness in every situation can go a long way.

F: Being kind to one another. Being there when they need you.

Staying supportive to your friends of all genders through thick and thin.

Question: Do you have advice for younger men?

J: Yes, search hard and try your hardest to make good and solid friends! Whether that be with men or women, or people outside the gender binary, these are people who will see you through your hardest times and be there for your greatest successes.

Who knows where I’d be without the amazing people in my life.

These friendships will help shape and find yourself to be the man you want to be, which will make you feel more secure and pursue healthy and genuine interests in your life - love life, career life etc.

F: Make sure you listen to lots of viewpoints and advice. But don’t let anyone tell you how to think, learn how to do that yourself.

Question: Is there any advice you wish you’d received from an older male role model when you were younger?

J: The whole notion of ‘putting your best foot forward’ is something I only recently began to appreciate and noticed on my own.

Not sure how it would’ve changed things, but hearing that earlier on by someone I look up to could’ve allowed me to develop healthier relationships, be there better for my friends and potentially allow me to advance more in my career.

I also wish I was surrounded by more good, respectful and genuinely helpful male role models growing up.

In saying that, I am making some great friendships in my twenties with men I look up to and am definitely looking forward to making more!