How to handle rejection without crashing out

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Imagine you make a move on someone you're into, and they say, 'Sorry, but I have a lot going on'. What do you do next?

How about, 'I think of you more as a friend'.

Or 'I'm worried I'm going to hurt you in the future'.

(What, seriously? More than what you're doing right now?!)

There are plenty of reasons and ways that people will say they’re not up for it – but remember, even a heart-breaking rejection needs a cool and calm reaction!   

If nothing else, you want to walk away with as much of your dignity, happiness and vanity as you can.

Here's what you should and shouldn't do when you get rejection (because we all have been).

What Not To Do When You Get Rejected

Don't call, message or visit, begging them to change their mind

When someone tells you how they’re feeling, you can't tell them they’re ‘wrong’. Be fr.

Also, repeatedly messaging someone might feel like an appropriate way of expressing your hurt, but remember that persistent unwanted contact is harassment.

Try to talk to family, friends or a professional about how you’re feeling instead.

Don't make public declarations of outrage on social media (or irl)

Partly because you won’t be doing yourself any favours, but more importantly, because it’s incredibly disrespectful and potentially hurtful to the person you’re talking about.

Don't randomly turn up at their house and demand an explanation

Can you imagine someone turning up at yourhouse and doing this?

This is the crash out of all crash outs, and tbh it's harassment.

So, yeah, just don't.

Don't go on strike until they love you back

Overt displays of heartache might make some people feel better, but the person you’re longing for is not going to be one of them.

This isn't the movies yk.

Don't take it out on others

Nobody is to blame here.

Not you, not them, not friends.

Nobody should have to suffer or be punished for your heartache.  

Don't stalk them

Definitely not.

Apart from being abusive and illegal behaviour, this is also an unacceptable way to treat a person.

Don't hate them

These things happen.

Hating them is a waste of everybody's energy.

Why The Rejection Don'ts Are Important To Remember

    Some of the stuff above is pretty clearly harassment, some of it’s just a really $hitty way to treat others, and yourself.

    It’s not a sign of your love, so don’t do it.

    Not inside a relationship.

    Not outside a relationship.

    What You Should Do When You Get Rejected

    Cry When You Get Rejected (If You Need To)

    Let it all out.

    Feel your feelings and address your emotions.

    It's important to help you process it and move on.

    Socialise

    Hang out with your mates, go out, touch grass.

    Take your mind off it and think about something else.

    Do stuff that makes you happy

    Eat a lot, sleep a lot, watch a lot. 

    Play Xbox, PS, DS, or whatever it is that you enjoy.

    Exercise

    Go for a quick jog around the block, lift some weights, do a yoga routine on YouTube.

    Get yourself a dose of the happy hormones you're craving.

    Meet new people

    Put yourself out there.

    They weren't for you, but somebody else might be.

    Worst case scenario, you could make a new friend.

    Stay respectful

    No matter what you feel about them, even if you think they weren't nice about it, rise above.

    You'll remember how well you handled it, and so will everybody else.

    Trust yourself to get over this in time

    Yes, this feels intense right now, and a range of really full-on emotions might be flying around in your head and heart.

    But play it cool, treat yourself and others well, and you willget there in time.

    Sure, some of these suggestions contradict each other (e.g. sleeping a lot vs exercising, or tasting your own snot vs meeting new people) – but that’s the point, it’s about balance and variety.   

    This stuff hurts and sometimes friends, food, or that cutie you exchanged smiles with a few months back can provide some life anaesthetic and stop you from writing a collection of poems called The Darkness.  

    If none of this is doing it for you and you feel like you want to talk about it to someone, please try 1800RESPECT, Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.

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