We all know what respect in a relationship looks like, but sometimes disrespect isn’t quite as easy to spot.
It’s not always the obvious stuff like yelling, cheating or name-calling.
Sometimes it shows up in the quieter moments, when someone pushes past your boundaries, makes you feel uneasy or uncomfortable, or acts like your “no” doesn’t count.
If you’ve ever felt a bit off but couldn’t explain why, that matters.
Your feelings are worth paying attention to.
It Doesn’t Have To Be Extreme To Be ‘Real Disrespect’
You might be told you’re “overreacting” or “being dramatic” if something feels off.
But respect isn’t about whether someone meant to make you feel uncomfortable.
Instead, it’s how their actions actually affect you personally. It’s not just about intention, it’s also about impact.
Sometimes, someone might ask to hang out alone even after you’ve said you’d rather meet somewhere public.
They might give you the ‘silent treatment’ when you say no to something physical.
They might laugh it off or turn it on you and make it out like you’re ruining the vibe.
Even if they don’t say anything aggressive or abusive, if it makes you feel like your boundaries don’t matter, that’s a problem.
What If They Don’t Get It?
Some people might say things like “it was just a joke” or “I didn’t really mean it” but those comments can be used to make what you’re feeling feel like it’s wrong or silly (it’s not).
For example, disrespect might sound like:
- “Don’t be so intense”
- “It’s not that deep”
- “Come on, just do it once”
- “Literally everybody else has done it”
If you’re saying no and someone’s still trying to change your mind, that’s not them being chill, that’s them not listening.
Sometimes it is that deep.
What Should You Do About Disrespect?
You don’t have to put up with behaviour that makes you feel unsafe or unsure.
Trust your gut
If something doesn’t sit right, don’t second-guess yourself.
You don’t need to explain it.
Say something simple like, “I’ve said no, so stop,” or “you’re not listening, stop”.
There’s no need for justification, no means no, that’s all there is to it.
Take a step back
If you’re unsure, you can hit pause and figure out how you feel first.
Talk to someone you trust
You don’t have to go through it on your own.
A mate, a parent, a school counsellor or a support service can help you talk it out.
Why Early Signs Of Disrespect Matter
Disrespect often starts small and grows.
The sooner you notice it, the easier it is to stop it or get out.
You deserve to be in relationships where your boundaries are respected the first time, where you don’t feel pushed, rushed or ignored.
And if someone crosses a line? That’s not on you, that’s on them.
