It's probably going to happen eventually. Is losing your virginity going to end up a precious time to be cherished forever? Or more like that first attempt at riding a bike – wobbly, terrifying and probably all over in a few seconds?
- Katy Perry was 16 and in the front seat of a Volvo.
- Daniel Radcliff said of losing his v-card, "I'm happy to say I've had a lot better sex since then, but it wasn't as horrendously embarrassing as a lot of other people's were".
- Megan Fox said, "I've had plenty of awkward sex, but that first time was not awkward. I was in love with him, and it was nice."
There are plenty of people who'll tell you 'the first time is the worst time', and others again who say they'll always remember that 'magical moment'. There are also heaps of people in the middle: yeah it was a thing, but not A Huge Big Thing.
So, to wait or not to wait, THAT is the question...
Two reasons to have sex NOW:
1. Well, sex can be brilliant! (Or good. Or ...just ...fine.) And if you want that in your life now, well, maybs now is your time.
2. Because you both feel ready and into it, safe and like you have equal say in the situation. For example, if you decided to stop halfway, you would feel totes comfortable saying so.
Two reasons to WAIT :
1. Age of Consent – Before you say, 'Yeah, yeah, I'm legal...' this is not just about your age; it's about both your ages, what State/Territory you're in, and also about the power dynamic between you. Please, read our articles on consent for more on this and check the lawstuff website for the laws where you live.
2. If there's any pressure, anywhere – This goes two ways. First up, if you've begged someone, niggled or asked over and over til they've said yes then this is pressure. And it's not consensual, even if they eventually say "fine, ok then". If you've done this, or if you're unsure, take a step back. No sex today (or ever, til you get the hang of asking for consent). Take our pressure test to help you suss it. Second, if someone has put the pressure on you then know you're 100% allowed to say no at any time. In fact, if there's any pressure it's not even sex - it's assault.
Speaking of circumstances, make sure you're in a good place when having sex – for the first time or any time! – both literally (maybe not in a Volvo) and emotionally. If you're feeling good about yourself you're more likely to make good choices about sexytimes.
At the end of the day (or the night) it's up to you to figure out when the right time is for you. Maybe the best advice is don't have sex unless you feel keen and safe. And don't expect it to be the most precious moment of your life (or even your sex life) – if it is, great, you just joined Megan Fox. If it isn't, no biggie - there's plenty of time for improvement.