Hands on the ball

Dennis and Bruce follow the action off the field...

Dennis Forgetti: Well, Bruce, a fantastic win for the Carmonwood Goodblokes today – almost guaranteeing them a spot in this year’s finals.

Bruce Makeitrainy: That’s right, Dennis, and this win due in no small part to the efforts of Downlow favourite Alec Hogball who today managed, let’s see, a fairly respectable 912 possessions and – just checking now – yes, 187 goals.

Dennis: He’s really dominated the play today, hasn't he, Bruce, and I think everyone’s starting to recognise the potential in this lad.

Bruce: Well, as we cross now to the fifth quarter, we’re in the Goodblokes’ rooms and can see the boys are huddled around Hogball. He’s obviously enjoying all the attention and is on a bit of a high. Oh… it looks like he’s lining up a joke from the centre…  he delivers… and… oh nooo!!!!  What a clanger!!! He’s told a completely lame joke that puts women and girls down, and yeah… it looks like NO one is laughing.

Dennis: Gee, a steely silence really has fallen over the Goodblokes rooms, Bruce. What was he thinking? They might have been big in the seventies, but those insulting jokes just have no place in today’s modern game – let’s just check the stats on that…

Steve Statsman: Yeah looking at the stats now, guys, we see the last attempt at that kind of humour was made by some bloke in long sleeves, short shorts and a very bad moustache. And… no, sorry, I’m afraid nobody remembers his name now. 

Bruce: Thanks Steve. Hang on, what’s happening now? Hogball appears to be having a go at his team-mates, telling them to ‘man up’ and laugh at his joke. No doubt the coach will be having a word to him about that one. Let’s hope we see a better performance from Hogball at the post-game celebrations.

Dennis: Absolutely, Bruce, in fact as we skip straight to the sixth quarter now, where we see Hogball at those post-game celebrations and… oh no, he’s wandered over and made a sleazy remark to the woman serving drinks. His team-mates are obviously not impressed, Bruce – they are offering no support.

Bruce: Indeed, and Hogball’s inner-circle don’t look happy either. In fact, his we can see his mum and dad coming in for a chat now, no doubt reminding him that kind of behaviour is part of a culture that disrespects women and is actually a key driver of violence against women.

Dennis: I think what we’ve seen tonight, Bruce, is a talented young player with genuine potential letting his team down – from team-mates to supporters, and his friends and family – there’s a real risk of the Goodblokes looking like the Badjokes this season.

Bruce: And from the sound of the crowd and the looks on the umpire’s faces, I don’t like Hogball’s chances of making either best or fairest this year.

Dennis: That’s right, Bruce, his reputation has taken a real hit tonight. Hogball’s got some serious work to do if he’s going to stay on the Goodblokes list and tackle the kind of behaviour that leads to violence against women.

AFL players unite to tackle violence against women