When we tell someone to "man up" we’re also telling them there’s such a thing. But who decides what a real man is? And why?
What would happen if we stopped trying to define what a "real man" is?
Instead of trying to figure out what a supposed real man is, and then putting pressure on ourselves to live up to that, we could just think about what sort of humanwe want to be.
Whether it’s one who is kind, generous, athletic, respectful, proud, humorous, smart, forgiving, supportive, creative, enduring, or whatever.
We can make that part of how we define ourselves, right?
We could also take the pressure off ourselves to be those things all the time.
You might be feeling supportive and generous one day, but not so much the next.
Maybe you’ve had a full-on week and you just need to lean into that humorous or creative side. It’s all good.
Apart from losing the idea that any of us should "man up", let’s also recognise some of those emotions that "real men" might have been told not to have.
Have a listen to Hawks AFL player Jarman Impey's thoughts.
Person 1: Has anybody ever made you feel like you're not manly enough?
Person 2: Definitely, I'd probably say my dad. He's a great man, he's a really good man, but I like to paint my nails black and I don't see anything wrong with it. He just has a judging look on his face. I'm just trying to, like, teach him that it's ok.
Person 3 (alongside person 4): When I was like in probably primary school or Year 7 stuff like that I was not very masculine and I would see all the guys playing footy and like, you know, "raaah, raah, raaah" and I just felt like, you know, I wasn't good enough. I wasn't masculine, I never shared how I was feeling.
Person 1: Not really. Yeah I've always, I've grow up in a very open and supportive family. I think maybe when I was little my dad might've maybe not wanted me to play with barbies but I'm sure if I played with Barbie dolls now my dad would be fine with it.
Person 4 (alongside person 3): I looked like an egg when I was in Year 7 but it certainly meant that the "footy boys" were like, you know, pick on the egg shaped kid that plays clarinet.
Person 3: Nah, nah, that's dope. You just gotta look the part, you've gotta shirt off (imitates playing clarinet). That's peak masculinity.
