So, the person you're into just told you ‘Sorry, but I…
‘…have a lot going on right now’
‘…think of you more as a friend’
Or ‘…am worried I'm going to hurt you in the future’ (What seriously? More than this?!)
There are loads of reasons and ways that people will say they’re not up for it - but remember, even a heart-breaking rejection needs a cool AF reaction!
If nothing else, you want to walk away with as much of your sanity, dignity and vanity as you can.
So maybe DON’T…
- Call, message or visit, begging them to change their mind.
- Make public declarations of outrage on social media (or IRL!)
- Turn up at their house in the middle of a family dinner to demand an explanation
- Sit in a public place and declare you’re on a hunger-strike
- Take it out on others
- Stalk them
- Hate them
- Hate anyone who reminds you of them in any way.
- Cry. Thaaaat’s it, come on now, let it alllll out, just keep sobbing till you can taste your own snot.
- Hang out with, and go out with friends (probably exactly what you don’t feel like doing but, sorry, you just gotta)
- Do stuff that makes you happy (e.g. eat a lot of unhealthy food and binge watch Netflix)
- Exercise (e.g. a quick jog around the park, or visit your local gym where you’ll end up hugging the punch-bag and sobbing “But whyyyyyyyy doesn’t she lubb meeeee?!”).
- No matter what you feel about them, stay respectful – even if they’ve been a dick about it – rise above, and be the better person. You’ll feel righteous. Eventually. When that uncontrollable sobbing stops.
Sure, some of these suggestions contradict each other (e.g. eating unhealthy food vs exercising, or tasting your own snot vs hooking up with
someone else) – but that’s the point, it’s about balance and variety.
This stuff hurts and sometimes friends, food, or that hottie you exchanged smiles with a few months back can provide some ‘life anesthetic’ and distract you from doing slam-poetry on YouTube.