Am I too clingy?


"My girlfriend (we've been dating for like 2 months) said she doesn't like to be clingy at school and I said that was fine, but she won't even hold my hand. We are best friends, but lately I feel like she's been acting weird. Do you think this is a sign?"

We ask our Facebook community to send us questions. Then we ask that same community to answer those questions. ...Yeah, well, why make work for ourselves?!

One pretty consistent suggestion that came through in the responses was to… communicate. We couldn’t agree more – if there’s uncertainty in a relationship, and it’s making you feel bad or uncomfortable the first step has got to be checking in with the other person. Keep in mind that it’s about making your feelings known – not making accusations or assumptions about where the other person’s at.

One point that nobody really mentioned was why is it so important for our questioner to be holding hands at school. School is kind of like your (unpaid) workplace, and a lot of people maybe don’t want to put their relationship on show at work.

So, what you said…

Am I too clingy?

  • Tom Some people aren't into PDA [‘public displays of affection’]. Some people are REALLY into it. The only way to know what she feels is by asking…
  • Leo Ask her to think about what being ‘clingy’ really means, it doesn't sound like you're smothering her with affection. However, if she's acting weird this may be a sign of something running slightly deeper, she may not be completely honest about her feelings towards you. Your best bet is to quietly take her aside some time and ask her a few choice questions about her actions.
  • Grace Just talk to her more, and ask her why she doesn't want to hold hands and what not. You should always know what’s going on, especially so you don't start overthinking and creating the wrong idea in your head!
  • Niamh I would suggest you talk to her about how she feels, and make it clear how you feel.
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